Its just over a month since we miscarried, and quite soon after I decided I needed to learn and achieve in something. I guess learning and achievement is where I get my ‘buzz’ from – and contrary to my GP, we don’t have to be at work (as in 9-5, office job work) to get a sense of achievement and a buzz out of life, in order to deal with grief. Achievement and a sense of failure have a really messed up relationship after your body really screws you over.
I really enjoyed the Facets of Grief project that got me to find some creative outlet for grief – another way of understanding all the messed up crap that has happened over the past 7 months, and the hangovers from it. And loosing twice, on the verge of loosing all forms of self-confidence, I needed to challenge myself and know I could still learn and achieve. And funnily enough, returning to work wasn’t the way I wanted or needed to discover this trait in myself..
So I started learning calligraphy, with a pipe dream of setting up an Etsy shop and creating cards, prints, and all sorts with the main target audience of those who have had more than their fair share of shit in life. So much these days on social media and the like is about advertising the wonderful, happiness we all apparently live in, in a beautiful, light filled and obsessively clean house with bright blue skies and smiles. Well, life isn’t actually all that rosey, or at least it isn’t around here.
I am working on creating something different, something that speaks to me, and something that hopefully speaks to others too. There is a lot out there available to remember our babies, but often I find it doesn’t always speak to me – for example, I don’t see Leo as an angel, and never will.
I can’t actually believe that we’ve got it this far, its still very early days, but last week we launched our little shop ‘Mini Robin Designs‘ and I am loving having a creative purpose to all the thoughts running through my head, and I hope that others like what we are creating.
You can read more about it here, and we’d love it if you’d like to follow us on all the many forms of social media. And please do get in contact if you’d like something personal for you.