I would describe being a same sex couple experiencing baby loss as being in a small pond, within a small pond. Whilst neither pond is actually that small once you start swimming around in it – you have to search far and wide to find others likes yourself.
Charities and organisations are inclusive in recognising that same sex couples are also affected by baby loss, yet often there is only one or two examples of families that have been affected. Whilst this is brilliant, there are so many variabilities in each story that mean it can be tricky to find another experience that echos yours. And similarities, whatever they are, help us to feel less alone.
You can read the full blog series here. Families from around the world have shared their stories with me, and I couldn’t be more humbled. We have experiences of early miscarriage, recurrent loss, stillbirth, neonatal death, prematurity, preeclampsia, and twin loss. I hope, if you need it, you find something here that makes you feel less alone.
By creating the #LGBTBabyLoss blog series and section on my website, I aim to present a diverse collection of stories about loss and life after loss that enable other LGBT families experiencing baby loss to feel less alone. And with this, I aim to give a voice to both parents, as, in the case of two mothers, it is often the parent who doesn’t carry their child who can feel even more alone. Sadly, they are too often shoehorned into the ‘fathers perspective’ (a lesser heard voice also), yet this is most likely an uncomfortable fit – they are not fathers, after all.
There is as much diversity in death, as there is in life.
You can read the blog series here.
Should you wish to submit your experiences as a same sex couple that has sadly been affected by baby or child loss to be included, please feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
LGBT Baby Loss Blog Series has also appeared in the below places
(click on the image to read the articles)