Writing a Mother’s Day Gift Guide is probably the most bloggery-blog thing I’ve ever done. But I was sat feeding Eli dinner, and was thinking about how shit Mother’s Day can be when your baby (or child) isn’t with you anymore. I remember feeling in such a messed up placed especially on our first Mothers Day after Leo died – it was about eight weeks or so after, and there is a lot of confusion over your identity at that point. I wrote about it back then.
The next year for Mother’s Day I was pregnant with Eli, and a year out from our loss of Leo we were able to sit a little more comfortably with the ‘celebration’ of our bittersweet motherhood – we had achieved so much, and we were still mothers after all. We actually went for Afternoon Tea on mothers day – that felt a little courageous! But it was deserved.
So this is a guide for Mothers’ Day gifts, or gifts for any day, for the bereaved. If you have a friend or family member who has lost a child, or you are bereaved yourself and fancy treating yourself, these are some of my favourite shops or gifts, with an extra layer of poignancy to them.
If you know of other places, please share the info in the link. Buying things for Leo was and still is such a comfort.
First up, will be the fantastic Murray and Me – Selina started Murray and Me about a year ago, and makes stunning pieces to personalise. I love the simplicity and delicacy of her necklaces, and an added bonus is the £1 donation to Tommy’s. Murray and Me was created out of the love that Selina has for her daughter Lexi, who was born sleeping on the 25th November 2015, so you can be sure that any piece ordered is made with true understanding and love. You can also follow Selina on Instagram here.
My next place is something that if I had known about prior to Leo’s funeral, it may have led me to consider cremating Leo. Carry My Heart Keepsakes creates jewellery from ashes, flowers or even locks of hair. When you have so little physically of your baby, it can be amazing to create something so beautiful from what you do have. I adored Leo’s funeral flowers, and having them made into something would have be incredible. You can follow them on Facebook here.
For me, this shout out starts at Selfish Mother. Molly Gun has created such a powerful force for empowerment and charitable fundraising through her clothes – sold via The FMLY Store. I wrote about it here. Whilst all the Mother jumpers would be a perfect gift, helping to mark and celebrate someone’s motherhood, there is an added poignancy to me with the Tiba + Marl collection that specifically raises money for Tommy’s. I have both the black and grey jumpers, and they are my go to recommendation (that said, they don’t seem to be on sale at the mo, but keep those eyes peeled incase they re-release them!)
Rachel, over at The Little Big Fierce Co, has tees and jumpers to promote inner fierce – a fantastic act of empowerment. The sale of them help to raise money for ARC (Antenatal Results & Choices) as part of her awareness raising for tfmr. You can follow Rachel here.
Gemma at Mutha.Hood recently collaborated with our friend, Elle at Feathering The Empty Nest to produce a wonderful limited edition version of the Strong Girls Club tee to raise money for Tommys and give you a much needed boost of solidarity. You can buy one here.
Everyones pin game is getting strong at the moment! I’m not sure if its the power of Instagram, but pins seem to be where it is at. There are so many wonderful pins out there to celebrate lots of different things, but these would be my recommendations for empowering motherhood when your baby can’t be seen. All supporting a different cause, charity or movement.
Our Missing Peace Pin from Nicole’s campaign to unite bereaved parents.
Keepsakes & Artwork
Keepsakes are a wonderful way to include your baby at home, and have something subtle or obvious (whichever you fancy) to honour their life and your love for them.
I’d like to share the work of Abi, from When You Wish Upon a Star – in response to losing Lucas, When you Wish Upon a Star is Abby’s way of honouring her son and helping others find beautiful ways to honour their children. The foil hand and footprints are just gorgeous – we bought Leo a set for Christmas, but the whole collection is just stunning. You can follow her on Instagram here.
Louise experienced baby loss when her son, Gabriel died just before Christmas last year. During her maternity leave before Gabriel died, she started making these wonderful creations (including Gabriel’s gorgeous announcement doodle). Since, she has continued making them and selling them through Doodle Pop whilst raising money for various charities since, including Tommys and Remember My Baby. I have my eye on getting something, but I can’t decide yet! Follow along on Instagram too.
There’s been a huge influx of books lately that tackle baby loss in different ways. Here are just a small selection of recent additions to the market, all about personal viewpoints and stories after loss.
Life After Baby Loss by Nicola Gaskin
Ask Me His Name by Elle Wright
Saying Goodbye by Zoe Clark-Coates
Help to Heal by LeighAnne Wright
Another gentle book gift, is Georgie Hayden’s cookbook, Stirring Slowly written after the loss of her son Archie. Cooking can be such a therapeutic activity after a bereavement and this book is the perfect way to nurture the soul with food. Georgie talks about Archie in the book which focuses on healing through cooking.
If you want to gift or send a hug in form of flowers, the only company I’d recommend is Bloom & Wild. This week they sent out communications, allowing people to specifically opt out of Mothers Day marketing and I’ve never seen a brand be any more aware of the challenges people face from automatic marketing. If flowers are a must, then it has to be Bloom & Wild. Added bonus is that they are always gorgeous!
This list isn’t specific to Mothers Day, these things are available all year round – but its timely to share it now. If you find yourself here, for you or someone else, I hope this list has been helpful. Feel free to add others in the comments below.
And also, as a disclaimer, this post isn’t #ad or #spon in any way, I just wanted to help share the poignant gifts out there for those who need them.