Recently, I've noticed that I'm struggling to process the events surrounding Leo's death, his pregnancy and his birth. Since his second birthday, there are things that I can't seem to look past, and the peace that I had gained about it all, has unravelled. I've noticed how its eating into my own self-esteem and confidence, … Continue reading What Are You Doing Here?
The Internet gives us all a voice. A much louder, more heard voice than what we would have without it. Social media is a fantastic way to spread a message - whatever it is - and connect with people who either are spreading a similar message, or who just blow your mind that they bother … Continue reading #StillATaboo – When You Go On Live TV…
Tomorrow night, I'll be on live television (please do not swear) alongside other families and professionals, discussing attitudes and support following stillbirth. I'm honoured to have been asked whilst at the same time trying to ignore the whole 'live television' aspect of it all. It'll all be alright on the night, right? The programme is particularly … Continue reading Normalising Stillbirth and Challenging Attitudes with Channel 5 News
There are many things that many, many people say to you once your baby has died. I should imagine that they are familiar to many people who walk their days without their child - but also others who have experienced trauma or bereavement, of any kind. "You are so brave" Brave adjective ready to face and … Continue reading “You are So Brave, I Just Don’t Know How You Do It”
This time, two years ago, I started my own project of #100DaysOfWellbeing with the aim of doing something every day to care for myself, and heal physically and mentally. It gave me such a good focus to get up and out (or in if needs be) and do something for me, and my recovery after Leo … Continue reading Less Berating, More Celebrating – Changing my Mindset to Self-Care
This is a guide for Mothers' Day gifts, or gifts for any day, for the bereaved. If you have a friend or family member who has lost a child, or you are bereaved yourself and fancy treating yourself, these are some of my favourite shops or gifts, with an extra layer of poignancy to them.
I was never able to write a #ThankYouMidwife post when the campaign first came out. Not because of any ill feeling towards any one person, but just because the images of the campaign didn't sit alongside my images - I couldn't relate. Yet I wrote something the other day for a publication that isn't going … Continue reading #ThankYouMidwife
Overall, I am really proud of us this year. We created memories, we shared the love with others, and we were able to take a whole new loads of Leo photos. All of that means the world to us right now.
Just after New Year, with little fanfare, my Maternity Leave ended, and I became unemployed. I don't really know where the future will take me in terms of working and a career, but for now we will just see what happens. But noticing the date of my contract ending, made me reflect on the relatively … Continue reading What I Learnt from Returning to Work after Stillbirth
The other night, I glanced at Leo's photos in our living room. One of my favourite photos of me holding Leo. It was the day we left. I got dressed that day, and I'm so glad I did. I showered, put actual clothes on, and walked around the bereavement suite, holding my son. We both … Continue reading On the Approach to Two – When Time doesn’t actually Heal