After chasing three times, we have a post mortem appointment. The 8-10 weeks “on the safe side” estimate has ended up being an 11 week appointment, but I’ll overlook that.
I’ve been focusing on just getting the appointment so much, that now we have it, it’s time to get my head around actually walking back through those doors and sitting down opposite our Consultant and discussing it all. Scary doesn’t even cut it. I just keep reminding myself that I’ve been through scarier moments in that hospital.
I’m also a little miffed as to why they feel it’s helpful to hold the meeting in the Women’s Centre, and to expect us to walk back into outpatients with ease. If someone dares to suggest I sit in the waiting area…
I’ve mulled questions over in my head for weeks now from the absolute silliest to the hardest ones to say without crying. We need to sit down and make a comprehensive list which will most likely have headings and sub-headings and all sorts… Before, during, after.
I Google’d (I know, I know, never a good thing) “preparing for a baby’s post mortem appointment” and I just got mugged off:
Thanks for your help Google, but no, I did not mean that. Even Google thinks this situation is ridiculous.
I’m also going to have to prepare myself to see our Consultant again. That in itself is enough to raise my blood pressure. We haven’t heard a thing from her since our appointment two days prior to Leo’s death. She is also our fertility doctor – she actually did my egg collection on Leo’s IVF cycle. I’m not a fan of hers anymore. She also isn’t the best communicator. Doesn’t finish her sentences. Is very rapid. Gives minimal information. You have to concentrate. I’ve known this woman for over a year and have had about 6-7 appointments with her, so I have got used to it. But quite frankly, I’d rather have someone who is a clear, concise and patient communicator for this appointment…
Anyway, I’ve digressed and I was attempting to keep this brief.
I was hoping to canvas opinion and the benefit of hindsight.
What did you ask?
What do you wish you asked?
How did you prepare yourself?
What would you do differently?
Any other random tips.
My Google effort – granted I couldn’t handle going through too many pages as most was information on the actual examination itself – mainly provided an old, although somewhat useful, Netmums thread on the subject.
I also thought that it may come in useful to put all the hints, ideas and tips together into a post for other people’s reference?
Please do comment if you want to – it would be really appreciated.