The entire experience was a rollercoaster of emotions. We wanted it done, then when it was, we questioned our decision, knowing there was absolutely no going back. But once he was home, an enormous weight lifted and life felt slightly lighter. An emotional calm set in. Contentment. The disappointment, stress, anxiety and guilt over not visiting, and getting angry, and upset when we did visit was removed.
A few weeks ago, I saw a email notification come up and instantly recognised the name - Prof Jacqueline Dunkley-Bent, the Chief Midwifery Officer for NHS England. I'd seen her speak at Better Births in March and knew very much who she was. Needless to stay, I was stopped in my tracks. I'd been invited … Continue reading There is Power in Being Heard – Podcasting with the Chief Midwifery Officer for NHS England
This week, I attended the NHS England Better Births Three Years On Event and share Leo and Eli's story. The event saw the annual review of the 2016 Better Births paper, aimed at improving maternity services in England. Over 500 people were in attendance across maternity, obstetric, neonatal and other related services together with families … Continue reading Better Births 2019 : Safety, Trust and Care
In Times of Great Sadness Come True Moments of Beauty | PC Grace Detoeuf, Force Lead for Pregnancy Loss for #ItStillTakesAVillage @WYP_PCDetoeuf
For October, Baby Loss Awareness Month, we are taking part in Aching Arms UK #MilesInMemory. We have a team involved (feel free to join) but me and The Wife have decided to try and clock up 310 miles, which statistically is a mile for every baby stillborn through the month of October. This is going … Continue reading Miles in Memory
Okay, so hands up, I admit it - I missed a month. The six month mark of Leo's death and birth took us by some surprise, we naively didn't think it would affect us that much (Ha! What silly people we are!) and so, I missed it and by the time I realised, I figured … Continue reading 5for5 : Month Five & Six
I can't actually believe that we've got it this far, its still very early days, but last week we launched our little shop 'Mini Robin Designs' and I am loving having a creative purpose to all the thoughts running through my head, and I hope that others like what we are creating.
The term "loss mum" is absolutely a phrase I never knew existed. There is so, so much we have learnt. The biggest being that stillbirth happens. To the point that it's ten times more common than SIDS. That healthy babies die, and making it to full terms gives you zero guarantees. That it's the biggest taboo. Yet, … Continue reading Five Unexpected Things I’ve Learnt as a Loss Mum
I guess I should start by saying that if the title of this blog looks at all distressing to you, or you aren't in the best frame of minds or places right now - you might want to step away from the triggers. This isn't the cheeriest of posts. On Monday, we miscarried. I was 6 … Continue reading What if You Miscarry your Rainbow?
Almost four years ago, we bought an Olympic bib set in a discount sale opposite the Olympic stadium. September 2012. About the same time that we started looking into fertility treatment. A year later, that bib set then haunted me as we went on to "fail" our first, then second, then third cycle of IUI. … Continue reading Why Five?