I've spoken in brief about my own mental health on my Instagram lately, and I thought it was time to bring the conversation over here. Especially when many people echo back me too whenever it is spoken about. Roughly, since Leo should have turned two in January, I've found a distinct shift in my emotions. Something has … Continue reading When Its No Longer Just Grief.
Today, is our due date. The due date of the baby we miscarried in summer, of our flicker of hope, of our little Robin. I didn't actually remember until mid morning. Or at least I didn't really click that it was the 23rd until mid morning. I'd known that this date was approaching. It's a … Continue reading On the Due Date of the Baby We Miscarried
Lately, we've talked about the notion of grief brain and having just done a quick Google, I feel pretty validated that its a genuine thing. I remember when baby brain hit when I was pregnant with Leo. I'd stare at the keyboard for ages at work, trying to work out how to spell the simplest of … Continue reading Grief Brain : Baby Brain’s Ugly Sister
For October, Baby Loss Awareness Month, we are taking part in Aching Arms UK #MilesInMemory. We have a team involved (feel free to join) but me and The Wife have decided to try and clock up 310 miles, which statistically is a mile for every baby stillborn through the month of October. This is going … Continue reading Miles in Memory
Okay, so hands up, I admit it - I missed a month. The six month mark of Leo's death and birth took us by some surprise, we naively didn't think it would affect us that much (Ha! What silly people we are!) and so, I missed it and by the time I realised, I figured … Continue reading 5for5 : Month Five & Six
I can't actually believe that we've got it this far, its still very early days, but last week we launched our little shop 'Mini Robin Designs' and I am loving having a creative purpose to all the thoughts running through my head, and I hope that others like what we are creating.
I guess I should start by saying that if the title of this blog looks at all distressing to you, or you aren't in the best frame of minds or places right now - you might want to step away from the triggers. This isn't the cheeriest of posts. On Monday, we miscarried. I was 6 … Continue reading What if You Miscarry your Rainbow?
It's Mental Health Awareness Week and it got me thinking this morning. When I've commented about our recovery being a mental health issue, a few people have commented that it isn't a mental health issue, it's grief, it's different - as if trying to make me feel better because labelling grief as a mental health … Continue reading Grief as a Mental Health Issue?
Leo's life will not read: Leo Phoenix, stillborn, full stop. Normally there's a story after the word born. They were born and became something, they did something - even if it wasn't of note, or worthy, or even legal - it was still something. Leo will not be followed by a full stop. Talking about … Continue reading Kid, You’ll Move Mountains
The pain is heavy. It is physical. It is sitting on my chest. The weight of forever taking my breath. I don't just miss my baby boy. This isn't just a pregnancy loss. I miss all of the Leo's. I miss the inconsistent sleeper, the newborn crier, the fussy eater. I miss the cheeky smiler, … Continue reading I Miss All Of The Leo’s