I think initially I fought a lot with myself and with the people closest to me, but as I’ve begun relaxing, socialising and finding my identity again, I have been able to accept and tolerate my grief, the ways it manifests itself and the ways I express it.
Through the #DiversityInLoss series I wanted to explore also the different ways in which people can communicate and express their emotions following the death of a baby, and therefore with the release in aid of Tommys, the Baby Charity, for this year's Baby Loss Awareness Week, it felt fitting to welcome Sophie and Liberty in this series.
This week, I attended the NHS England Better Births Three Years On Event and share Leo and Eli's story. The event saw the annual review of the 2016 Better Births paper, aimed at improving maternity services in England. Over 500 people were in attendance across maternity, obstetric, neonatal and other related services together with families … Continue reading Better Births 2019 : Safety, Trust and Care
Three. I'd sum three up as bloody surreal. I mean, it's all surreal but with each year, that feeling gets stronger. I think the distance makes the memories that bit more sketchy, and far less tangible. 'Three' is not the 6lb 4oz newborn that we said goodbye to. 'Three' is not the baby we'd dreamed … Continue reading Leo Phoenix is Three!
#AdventToRemember is a project aimed at anyone grieving over Christmas, and missing a loved one - whoever that may be. It was born from our first Christmas after Leo died, when we shared our Advent project for him on our blog. We decided to soften the pain, to do something everyday in his name, whether … Continue reading Grieving this Christmas? Discover #AdventToRemember and its Wonderful Community
Back in Summer, I saw a Facebook post from the charity Teddy's Wish, about a retreat for bereaved parents. I instantly put my name forward. I didn't even really consider what would be involved. I just knew that I wanted to go. For me, one of the biggest challenges in parenting after loss is time. … Continue reading Craving Stillness – an Opportunity to Reflect and Restore Thanks to the Teddy’s Wish Retreat
I've spoken in brief about my own mental health on my Instagram lately, and I thought it was time to bring the conversation over here. Especially when many people echo back me too whenever it is spoken about. Roughly, since Leo should have turned two in January, I've found a distinct shift in my emotions. Something has … Continue reading When Its No Longer Just Grief.
Today, is our due date. The due date of the baby we miscarried in summer, of our flicker of hope, of our little Robin. I didn't actually remember until mid morning. Or at least I didn't really click that it was the 23rd until mid morning. I'd known that this date was approaching. It's a … Continue reading On the Due Date of the Baby We Miscarried
Lately, we've talked about the notion of grief brain and having just done a quick Google, I feel pretty validated that its a genuine thing. I remember when baby brain hit when I was pregnant with Leo. I'd stare at the keyboard for ages at work, trying to work out how to spell the simplest of … Continue reading Grief Brain : Baby Brain’s Ugly Sister
For October, Baby Loss Awareness Month, we are taking part in Aching Arms UK #MilesInMemory. We have a team involved (feel free to join) but me and The Wife have decided to try and clock up 310 miles, which statistically is a mile for every baby stillborn through the month of October. This is going … Continue reading Miles in Memory