I have created a Spotfiy playlist of songs that either remind me of Leo or are our happy songs – I wanted something to play when nothing else seems quite right. I thought I would share it and why the songs are on there. Hopefully some more can get added to it over the years. (If you are reading this on email, click the link to view it on the website if you want to listen to the tracks at all – I’ve popped the videos in there.)

My Girl : The Temptations – this is my all time ‘happy song’ from the days of being a child and constantly watching the film ‘My Girl’. It is also one of wedding songs for the same reason. Its a good safe bet, just the opening beat is hard not to smile too.

I’ve got sunshine, on a cloudy day.

Stand By Me : Ben E King – again, another wedding song and has deep links to Leo now and was played at his funeral. It will always remind me of him.

No I won’t be afraid, no I won’t be afraid, just as long as stand, stand by me. 

You & Me Song : The Wannadies – the song we walked, or more like ran, back down the aisle too. So upbeat after the ‘drop’ – it will always make me smile.

And its always you and me, always, and forever.

Dog Days Are Over : Florence & The Machine – when Leo was about 20 weeks, we bought baby bud headphones as a bit of a extravagant treat and Florence was one of the more upbeat albums that we would play to him.

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father, run fast for your children, for your sisters and brothers

Love Yourself : Justin Bieber – I promise, this is not my outing as a fully fledged ‘Belieber’ but this was Number 1 in the UK when Leo was born (and we do also like it, secretly, a little bit).

Was I a fool to let you break down my walls?

Stitches : Shawn Mendes – This was Number 1 in the UK on Leo’s Due Date, 3.2.16. I have struggled lately with trying to settle my head with the thought that I don’t know what his birthday would have been, if he hadn’t died. So, I think his due date will always have some level of significance for this reason – like it could have been his birthday.

I thought that I’d be hurt before, but no ones ever left me quite this sore

Grow Old With Me : Tom Odell – a song guaranteed to make N cry instantly, and was chosen for the final song at Leo’s funeral. Massive fan of Tom Odell, and his music is so emotive. The lyrics of this one, although a love song, have a lot od dual meaning to us now.

I can feel your breathing, with your hair on my skin… I pull the sheets when its cold on your feet, cos you’l fall back to sleep every time

Take Me Home : Jess Glynne – I added this one as I don’t think I can listen to it again without being taken back to thoughts of Leo in a moment of sadness.

Wrapped up, so consumed, by all this hurt

Love Again : Rae Morris – In October, for our wedding anniversary, we went to see Rae Morris in concert. It was just as my pelvic pain was starting to be a nuisance and standing for a long time was a bit of a challenge. She didn’t come on until really late, and like the old people that we now are, we were there really early. So we ended up sitting on the floor waiting for her to come on, like uber cool teenagers hanging out in a shopping centre. Leo would have been old enough to hear the whole concert though.

These days, I’m afraid of me. Theres fire, where my heart should be.

Drive : Incubus – the all time ‘our song’ from back in the day of being 16 and going to see Incubus as Wembley Arena. This was also our first dance at our wedding and the line “Whatever Tomorrow Brings” has always been our moto – good job really. We also went to see Incubus at Hammersmith Apollo when I was pregnant, it was pretty early on, so I doubt he heard, but he went to two pretty different, but very cool concerts!

Whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there, with opens arms and open eyes

Fields of Gold : Eva Cassidy – bit of a different one, but one of the only songs that I distinctively remember playing to Leo and him moving to.

Will you stay with me, will you be my love

Nimrod – Royal Philharmonic Orchestra – another funeral track, this one we walked into, and is without fail played at every London Rememberance Day Parades so has great significance for remembrance. We went to the parade in 2014 and would go back again just to hear this track played by a live band.

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