I’ve been a bit quiet on the blogging front lately, but have been participating in the #MayWeAllHeal and #CreativelyMe prompts on Instagram which have both been like self-counselling, tapping into to other aspects of this grief journey, but I was keen to share a recent activity.
On Saturday, we went to a Saying Goodbye service in Oxford and I’m so glad that we did. I’m far from religious, but the service was a nice balance, held in Christ Church Cathedral. A stunning backdrop for an intimate, emotion filled service that didn’t shy away from the reality of baby loss.
It was our first experience of being with others who are walking this journey, and our first of walking into a place as “members of this club” which was quite liberating, comforting and welcoming. What we really cherished was just an opportunity to stop.
Oxford on a Saturday afternoon is busy. I always forget just how many political and religious preachers there are on the high street. So walking to the Cathedral, senses overload was happening – and it’s something that we’ve struggled with since day one after Leo died. Too much noise is a struggle sometimes. So being able to just enter the Cathedral and have peace, quiet, still was so welcome.
The service had a mixture of poetry, songs, readings and moments to remember our lost little ones. We lit a candle each for Leo, and rang a handbell. I closed my eyes and disappeared in the music, and we just let the tears flow when they needed too. There was no judgement or curiosity or people rushing to comfort or stop you. It was just freedom to be and feel whatever we wanted for an hour. The words spoken were so relevant, honest and written by those who understood.
We went with an open mind, not really know what to expect – I am up for exploring anything and everything in this journey and finding out what helps. Like I said, I’m not religious so I wouldn’t normally head to church for comfort, but I knew these services came from a different place – a place from a couple who understood, who had walked this path and who wished to honour all babies lost in beautiful places and to offer others comfort. I am glad that we went, and we will most certainly look out for other services in the future, to take Leo, and give ourselves dedicated time to stop and breathe in our thoughts of him, in other magical places.
Thank you to Saying Goodbye.
For more information on Saying Goodbye services, have a look at their website.