Recently, I've noticed that I'm struggling to process the events surrounding Leo's death, his pregnancy and his birth. Since his second birthday, there are things that I can't seem to look past, and the peace that I had gained about it all, has unravelled. I've noticed how its eating into my own self-esteem and confidence, … Continue reading What Are You Doing Here?
The Internet gives us all a voice. A much louder, more heard voice than what we would have without it. Social media is a fantastic way to spread a message - whatever it is - and connect with people who either are spreading a similar message, or who just blow your mind that they bother … Continue reading #StillATaboo – When You Go On Live TV…
We dreamed and we talked and we wondered out loud who you would be, but I knew in my heart that if you were anything like your mom, you would be an amazing human being.
The week leading up to October 7th will always be a hard one for me. October 7th will always be a bitter sweet day our family, but it’s Emerson and Harper’s birthday.
Here we are: Two girls who wanted a baby who did all we could, but it wasn’t quite enough for our perfectly imperfect little girl.
For October, Baby Loss Awareness Month, we are taking part in Aching Arms UK #MilesInMemory. We have a team involved (feel free to join) but me and The Wife have decided to try and clock up 310 miles, which statistically is a mile for every baby stillborn through the month of October. This is going … Continue reading Miles in Memory
I've been a bit quiet on the blogging front lately, but have been participating in the #MayWeAllHeal and #CreativelyMe prompts on Instagram which have both been like self-counselling, tapping into to other aspects of this grief journey, but I was keen to share a recent activity. On Saturday, we went to a Saying Goodbye service … Continue reading Saying Goodbye
Leo's life will not read: Leo Phoenix, stillborn, full stop. Normally there's a story after the word born. They were born and became something, they did something - even if it wasn't of note, or worthy, or even legal - it was still something. Leo will not be followed by a full stop. Talking about … Continue reading Kid, You’ll Move Mountains
The pain is heavy. It is physical. It is sitting on my chest. The weight of forever taking my breath. I don't just miss my baby boy. This isn't just a pregnancy loss. I miss all of the Leo's. I miss the inconsistent sleeper, the newborn crier, the fussy eater. I miss the cheeky smiler, … Continue reading I Miss All Of The Leo’s