The term "loss mum" is absolutely a phrase I never knew existed. There is so, so much we have learnt. The biggest being that stillbirth happens. To the point that it's ten times more common than SIDS. That healthy babies die, and making it to full terms gives you zero guarantees. That it's the biggest taboo. Yet, … Continue reading Five Unexpected Things I’ve Learnt as a Loss Mum
Restarting Life After Loss
We are at the end of a really shit week. The shock and pain of this recent loss hasn't been felt to our core, to each and every fibre of our bodies, like how we felt the loss of Leo. That alien feeling stayed with us for weeks, months even. Now, we just feel stuck, … Continue reading Restarting Life After Loss
What if You Miscarry your Rainbow?
I guess I should start by saying that if the title of this blog looks at all distressing to you, or you aren't in the best frame of minds or places right now - you might want to step away from the triggers. This isn't the cheeriest of posts. On Monday, we miscarried. I was 6 … Continue reading What if You Miscarry your Rainbow?
When Life Gives You Lemons, but You Hate Lemonade
When Leo died, one of the first 'plans' we made was to get away from it all, and go on a holiday. We discussed going somewhere that wasn't already on our list, because we actually wanted to enjoy going to those places, and also somewhere we'd probably never go again, but could if we wanted too. … Continue reading When Life Gives You Lemons, but You Hate Lemonade
Why Five?
Almost four years ago, we bought an Olympic bib set in a discount sale opposite the Olympic stadium. September 2012. About the same time that we started looking into fertility treatment. A year later, that bib set then haunted me as we went on to "fail" our first, then second, then third cycle of IUI. … Continue reading Why Five?
What does SANDS give us?
June is SANDS Awareness Month. It's like Christmas for the baby loss community online. Just with orange and a bucket load of sadness. It's incredible. It's eye opening. It's comforting. I've been sharing on our Facebook page, the different ways SANDS use all the generous donations to help the baby loss community. It's important for … Continue reading What does SANDS give us?
A Legacy Milestone : Five
Five thousand pounds has now been raised in Leo's name. Five thousand pounds. This was our annual target to hit for Leo's first birthday - in January. Next year. We have only just started fundraising properly this month - with three races, the latest was yesterday. Our friend ran the Edinburgh 5km and raised just … Continue reading A Legacy Milestone : Five
Leo’s Life in One Envelope
So, after requesting back at the start of April - after we got home from our first post mortem appointment - we finally received my medical notes. You literally ask and ask and chase and chase and then pay the £25 cheque (yes, cheque - my cheque book has two cheques used. Leo's headstone and … Continue reading Leo’s Life in One Envelope
5for5 : Month Three
I cannot believe another month has gone. Today, it's four months since we met Leo. Each month feels longer and longer, but when I do these updates, it really does help to remind me what we have achieved, as sometimes it feels like we are making no progress at all. To find out what it … Continue reading 5for5 : Month Three
Grief as a Mental Health Issue?
It's Mental Health Awareness Week and it got me thinking this morning. When I've commented about our recovery being a mental health issue, a few people have commented that it isn't a mental health issue, it's grief, it's different - as if trying to make me feel better because labelling grief as a mental health … Continue reading Grief as a Mental Health Issue?
The Legacy of Leo 