It’s a confusing place to be in the baby loss community, I kind of felt like I didn’t really have a ‘place’ or a right to people’s sympathies. A termination for medical reasons (TFMR) can often be met with judgment, and I almost feel like a fraud when I see people sharing their stories, because they didn’t choose to end their babies life, I did. But I’ve put those feelings on myself - I have been met with nothing but support and love.
#DiversityInLoss – does it mean that God is not good?
Religion has taught me that we each have “crosses to bear” and hard things to endure in our lives - there is no escaping that. For us, that is baby loss - for others? I wouldn't want to assume, but I do feel that in spite of those God is rooting for us and with us more than we often notice.
#DiversityInLoss – I Can Love You From Here
Through the #DiversityInLoss series I wanted to explore also the different ways in which people can communicate and express their emotions following the death of a baby, and therefore with the release in aid of Tommys, the Baby Charity, for this year's Baby Loss Awareness Week, it felt fitting to welcome Sophie and Liberty in this series.
#DiversityInLoss – Why? We weren’t told.
The world kept on moving and all I wanted was it to stand still whilst I processed what had just happened. Instead of planning our first family photo shoot, I was planning a funeral.
#DiversityInLoss – the little brother that I didn’t get to meet
I don’t remember a time where either of my parents sat me down to tell me about Jacob when I was older, but I have always known about him and what my parents went through.
#DiversityInLoss – Exhumation. What is it?
The entire experience was a rollercoaster of emotions. We wanted it done, then when it was, we questioned our decision, knowing there was absolutely no going back. But once he was home, an enormous weight lifted and life felt slightly lighter. An emotional calm set in. Contentment. The disappointment, stress, anxiety and guilt over not visiting, and getting angry, and upset when we did visit was removed.
#DiversityInLoss – the importance of language in baby loss
The language used in the cases of baby loss is even more delicate. Sally knew this and that’s why she didn’t jump in with medical terminology, telling me ‘It feels different from your previous miscarriages, because it’s not a miscarriage. It’s a termination.’ She knew that I was too traumatised and grief stricken to hear this word.
#DiversityInLoss – they will make up a story
Maddie dealt with the day with unbelievable empathy. She handled the reality with grace and maturity. What would my advice to anyone wondering how to help a grieving child be? Let them lead ‘their’ way and be prepared for them to surprise you.
Swimming Serpentine – Two Miles – 2019
At the weekend, I took part in Swim Serpentine for the second time - this year tackling the two mile wave to fundraise for Antenatal Results & Choices, in memory of our friends little girls, Neve and Matilda. For those who have followed along on social media, you will know that I only started open … Continue reading Swimming Serpentine – Two Miles – 2019
There is Power in Being Heard – Podcasting with the Chief Midwifery Officer for NHS England
A few weeks ago, I saw a email notification come up and instantly recognised the name - Prof Jacqueline Dunkley-Bent, the Chief Midwifery Officer for NHS England. I'd seen her speak at Better Births in March and knew very much who she was. Needless to stay, I was stopped in my tracks. I'd been invited … Continue reading There is Power in Being Heard – Podcasting with the Chief Midwifery Officer for NHS England
The Legacy of Leo 