#DiversityInLoss – When amniocentesis causes a miscarriage

Medically I had suffered a second trimester loss, but to me I birthed our sleeping baby boy. I contracted, I felt every pain, my waters broke, the umbilical cord was cut and I delivered a placenta. I held our little boy in my arms, I kissed his little button nose and dressed him in the smallest outfit. It can be very isolating knowing Arlo-Jorg is not acknowledged as a baby because of the gestation he was born.

#DiversityInLoss – I was a mother losing her son yet I didn’t look like it because he wasn’t in my body

I was a mother losing her son yet I didn’t look like it because he wasn’t in my body. As much as I wished it was me going through it rather than my wife, I was in awe of her strength at delivering our boy into the world. But we had to go through the usual rigmarole of being asked if I was Holly’s ‘friend’ or ‘sister’ accompanying her to the appointments. It gets so draining always being mis-labelled in these circumstances. How hard is it too have a quick glance at the notes before walking into a room?

#DiversityInLoss – A confusing place to be in the baby loss community

It’s a confusing place to be in the baby loss community, I kind of felt like I didn’t really have a ‘place’ or a right to people’s sympathies. A termination for medical reasons (TFMR) can often be met with judgment, and I almost feel like a fraud when I see people sharing their stories, because they didn’t choose to end their babies life, I did. But I’ve put those feelings on myself - I have been met with nothing but support and love.

#DiversityInLoss – Exhumation. What is it?

The entire experience was a rollercoaster of emotions. We wanted it done, then when it was, we questioned our decision, knowing there was absolutely no going back. But once he was home, an enormous weight lifted and life felt slightly lighter. An emotional calm set in. Contentment. The disappointment, stress, anxiety and guilt over not visiting, and getting angry, and upset when we did visit was removed.