By sharing our stories we can impact the world is so many ways. We can releasd ourselves of those inner thoughts and give them to the world to hold, so we don’t have to anymore. We can connect with others who get it, and who have shared similar experiences - making us all feel less alone. It can be read by someone too scared to share, but now feeling heard. It can educate and inform those around us to understand the way that we have gone through. It can cause ripple effects by empowering others to share their stories, or do so, vicariously through yours.
Having to go back to Obs & Gynae after everything that happened is something I had to do in order to complete that part of my training without having to repeat a whole placement again. I know I had to do it, but there is part of me that will always be filled with resentment that I wasn't offered any other options with regards to returning to work, and that I didn't feel particularly well supported when I did get back to work. Professionals need to be better trained when it comes to baby loss, and to delve deeper even when someone might say "I'm fine".
It’s a confusing place to be in the baby loss community, I kind of felt like I didn’t really have a ‘place’ or a right to people’s sympathies. A termination for medical reasons (TFMR) can often be met with judgment, and I almost feel like a fraud when I see people sharing their stories, because they didn’t choose to end their babies life, I did. But I’ve put those feelings on myself - I have been met with nothing but support and love.
The language used in the cases of baby loss is even more delicate. Sally knew this and that’s why she didn’t jump in with medical terminology, telling me ‘It feels different from your previous miscarriages, because it’s not a miscarriage. It’s a termination.’ She knew that I was too traumatised and grief stricken to hear this word.
"No matter what the reason for ending a pregnancy, the way you are made to feel at the time is likely to stay with you forever, we must get it right." Abigail, from @bpas1968 for the #ItStillTakesAVillageBlogSeries
One of the main things that I get messages about, is 'where do you even start with navigating pregnancy after loss?' It was by far the most challenging experience we encountered after loosing Leo - its full of every single emotion and sometimes, they all hit in one day. Its intense, and its bloody hard. … Continue reading Navigating Pregnancy After Loss | An Introduction
Here we are: Two girls who wanted a baby who did all we could, but it wasn’t quite enough for our perfectly imperfect little girl.